Sunday, September 4, 2011 | By: Debbie

Sept. 4th 2011 - Starting Over...

This is my starting over blog post and I do mean starting over.  I am ashamed to say that over the last 4 months that I have gained back 30 lbs.  I can blame it on a lot of things, changing jobs, trouble with my foot or all that we have had going on at home.  Well that is all bull shit and I know it, cause the blame is totally on me.   I have been eating out of control and it stops today.  I can feel my self getting fat and when I went to the grocery store and brought a 10 lb bag of potato's I was thinking as I put in in the cart that I have but three of them back on my body.   Why I did this I do not know, stupid, compulsive eating or just a death wish, but it is done and now I have to undo the damage.  So I can make all the promises and say I am going to do this or do that, but I know it is up to me to get this under control.  So I am taking it one day at a time and look at it one day at a time.  I figure that is all I can do at this point, so today is my first day of a new start.  I weighed this morning and I weigh 260 lbs and I will go from here.  Sunday morning is my weigh in day and I will try and post this on my blog on Sunday. 

Now on to the fact that I have not been blogging like I should and why.  I have been super busy at work and hubby had surgery on his shoulder this week, but that is no excuse.  The real reason is that I was ashamed of having gain weight back and did not know how to post about it.  Well I guess the best thing is just to be honest about it and go from here.  I wish I had the will power of my sister who can go all day and not eat anything if she gains a pound.  I can not do this for a couple of reasons, the main one is that I love food, the way it smells and the taste.  So for me I have to find something that I can live with and learn to eat that way.  I read all kinds of articles that say do this and do that or I lost weight this way or that way.  What it comes down to for me is just to learn portion control and go from there.    So my new weight loss plan is just to get some kind of control and I will still be counting points sort of, but I will be posting my food log every day.

My next subject is about my blog and I will try and blog everyday and make time for it.  So look to see posts from me again.  I will not be posting tomorrow, cause I have not Internet connection at home so it will be Monday.  I want to thank all my followers for staying and I will post again on Tuesday.  Have a great day.

17 comments:

Carbie Girl said...

Its never easy to face the truth when we all off the beaten path but its important to face reality when you want to get back on. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. This isn't all sunshine and lollipops.. its reality and we must find strength to prevent reoccurences. hugs to you :0)

The Path Traveled said...

I'm so glad to see your back to blogging. We all have set backs, God knows I have been in one lately. I like you am having trouble getting my motivation back, the will is week. I blame some on the Chemo treatment I have been going through the last three weeks and not being able to walk. I hate the treadmill and cant seem to want to get on it either. Outdoors keeps me on the right track. Being indoors without stepping outside for the last three weeks is causing my brain to think I am hungry, when I am really bored. Perhaps we can take these baby steps together on a new journey. I am cheering you all the way...We can do this!!!

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Good luck, Debbie. I wish you the best. I'm glad you could be honest and start over with a clean slate.

Diana said...

There's no need to be embarrassed over a weight gain. I gained back 50 pounds so I understand. Most of us have done the same thing.

It's hard to take back control once it slips through our fingers. Just that you're trying means a lot. You may slip again, but get right back on your plan.

Glad you're back to blogging. I had just started following you and then you disappeared. Too many go away forever, so happy you're still trying. That's half the battle. :)

Joy said...

So appreciate your honesty. Sounds like you are back on track. You can do this!! Stay focused on your plan!!

CJ said...

When I regain weight, I disappear off the face of the earth, so I understand! Nice to see you back, don't be too hard on yourself, just take care of yourself.
CJ

Lyn said...

Starting over is hard, but the alternative is giving up! You are taking responsibility and making the choice to keep going instead of quitting and THAT is an awesome success!

"KT" said...

You can do it! The past is the past, it doesn't determine our present or future- we do! Best of luck doing this. :)

Floriana said...

Debbie, it's great to see you back! What happened is not ideal, but it happened and can't be taken back. Just learn your lessons and move on. No need to be ashamed. Good luck with your new plan. I look forward to reading your updates.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Welcome back. It's tough when you stumble on that slippery slope, but I know you've got what it takes to do right. Here's hoping you see some immediate success!

that TOPS lady said...

What's done is done. It's looking good from here on out..you can do it! I'm glad you are back!

Princess Dieter said...

You did a courageous thing. Failure and setbacks are hard, hard, hard. BUT...you did the right, right thing--facing up, starting over.

That's all we can do when we mess up. Fess up and start over.

So glad you're on it now. YOu'll see the pounds drop. YOU WILL!!!!!

And no more potato chips for you, Missy!!!

Hope hubby is healing up well.

Take care...post often. It will keep you focused.

spunkysuzi said...

"hugs" it's so easy to gain and sometimes so hard to stop! You are doing what you need to do. Welcome back. I've missed you.

jirons42 said...

Welcome back and thank you for your honesty. I have gained back 5 pounds and your post has been a wakeup call for me so I don't gain back more as I so easily could. I'm starting over again with you today.

grammpaula said...

It sure doesn't take long to gain it back does it? If only it came off as easy. Welcome back and keep with it. A funny side note. My code to enter to post this is supper. It must know I'm always thinking about supper!! ;-)

Jo said...

Welcome back, and NEVER be ashamed of getting back on track. I find that when I have the worst time sticking with it is when I have the most support. If you can make portion control a habit, you will win!

Momma Hunt said...

Hang in there...Glad you are getting back on track and looking forward to your posts. Remember not to hide when struggling that is why we are here, for the good and bad times!