Friday, October 22, 2010 | By: Debbie

Friday 10-22-10 Not sleeping...

Good lord it has been a long day, and I am exhausted.  I am not sleeping good at night at all and did not sleep last night any.  I have never  been one to take anything to help me sleep so I just toss and turn.  The bad thing is that it makes me a mean person the next morning and I gave poor hubby hell this morning for nothing.  He was just in my line of fire I guess and caught me being ill as hell from not sleeping.  I called and told him I was sorry and you know what I offered to get him a damn cheese cake.  The man does not need to eat cheese cake anymore than I do.   What in the hell was I thinking when I offered to do that.  I was using food to smooth over being an ass to him.  Telling him I was sorry should have been enough with out bribing him with something sweet.  Now don't get me wrong the man has a sweet tooth from hell, but he does not need it.   I have used food for so long when I am upset or tired to try and fix it.  I can not fix it with food or make me feel better with food.  Now drugs may be another thing, because I am going to sleep tonight if I have to take something to help.
Food is an addiction from hell for me and I will have to deal with it for the rest of my life.  I was thinking today that wow I have lost 44 lbs and I feel great.  I could still go face down in a cheese cake or some pasta though.  I will never get over this feeling, but I will learn to control it.  I will be on Weight Watchers from now on and I hope to reach life time some time next year.  Right now my goal is to lose another 16 lbs my Christmas so if you follow my blog stick around and lets see if I do it.  Blogging has become my life support line and it keeps me sane on this journey of mine to get healthy.   It helps to read about someone else who is fighting this battle just like I am.  When you have some one who understands what you are going through it really helps.   My family thinks you can just lay the fork down and quit eating or they are always calling me with some new thing to try.  I am polite and I listen, but I just keep on with my Weight Watcher journey.  When I made the choice this time to lose weight I made it for me.  Not for hubby or anyone else in my family, but me.  I am okay with losing weight slow and steady.

Okay as you can tell I am still in a bad mood so I am going to go and read some blogs and see if I can get in a better mood.  Then I am going to take me a hot bubble bath and go to bed.  Have a great night and here is yesterdays food journal..


Oh here is a new picture of Rusty our puppy..  He is so funny with those damn ears that stand up. 


8 comments:

KellyNY said...

Debbie - if your family are not members of WW, then they won't get it, you know. If it were as simple as just putting the fork down and pushing the plate away, no one would ever be overweight - ever. Cute puppydog!

Tamzin said...

Its true. we use food to comfort ourselves and others! I do it all the time. Terrible cycle. We can break it. Just takes time and energy and awareness!! :) Keep it up...

and drag him out for a walk!

teehee

Ice Queen said...

Enjoy your bubble bath and get some sleep. I hope that you feel better about everything in the morning.

Patrick said...

Sorry to hear you are having issues sleeping. Seems many bloggers are having sleeping issues lately.. wonder why; change in seasons? Change in fashion trends?

Keep on losing, going to be here through Christmas and long after - fully believe you will give yourself an amazing present this Christmas.

Stacy said...

I know how you feel. I've been having sleeping issues b/c of some pain meds I took on Tuesday night. I was in a PMS mood from Hades today and my period is still 2 weeks away :D I apoligized to DH before he went to bed.... but here I am, still awake laying beside him almost 2 hours later. I feel for ya. I don't like to take anything either.

Granny2Em said...

Hi, Thank you for visiting my blog and becoming a follower. I look forward to following you as well. Your family sounds a lot like mine. I hope you feel better tomorrow! Have a great weekend.

Glenn, Fat at Fifty-five said...

I hope you get some sleep soon and I wish you pleasant dreams when sleep at last steals upon you. If you persist in your insomnia, you might find looking over your food diary might help to find a trigger, late night coffee or tea perhaps? Do you watch television up to bedtime, if so you might switch to a book an hour before bed to slow down a bit.

Lesia said...

Good sleep helps with weight loss. So you need to do whatever you can to get that every night. I love WW and would not trade it for anything! Not even a cheese cake. smile.